Your Unemployed Daughter

Now here’s a job that I think may interest some of you! (Whori, you were always good at torture, right? And devouring?)

TK Co. is looking for an experienced fashion writer to join our team as Editor of Coutorture. If you wait impatiently for Fashion Week to arrive, devour the runway images as soon as they are available, know what all the trends will be before they hit stores, and have relevant fashion writing experience, then you have the passion and skills we’re looking for.

PS. You guys might consider also hiring a Copy Dominatrix.

Poor high-fructose corn syrup!

I feel bad for you. You and I have a lot in common.

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photo credit: ShellyS
Your Unemployed Daughter has never been the thriftiest sort. Remember how you had to put her on a strict budget when all those charges at the Georgetown Ann Taylor showed up during her college years? (She is loathe to recall exactly how many pink twin sets and linen skirts she actually purchased, or why, but she agrees that it was, indeed, grotesque.)

She got better after she graduated, toned down her “champagne tastes on a beer budget” (thanks, Mom) habits for a bit. She was particularly proud of the frugality evident in her choice of 33¢ boxes of off-brand macaroni and cheese.

Actually, it was nothing to be proud about, as that was all that remained in her checking account during those years of a $25,000 salary, 2 roommates, and a walkup frequented by johns visiting our next-door neighbors. Still, back then she had fun crashing parties and eating all the cheese her tiny stomach could hold, or stealing salt and pepper shakers and wine glasses from restaurants when the need arose.

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TGMTU#2 © Derek Ivie

Mr. Meow Meow↑ …

and walks with Bailey ↓

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YUD is very excited. Her friend (and former colleague/wearer of the “Snaps Cap”/grand master of imitations verbal and physical/shutterbug/dance fiend) Derek has been documenting a variety of things, large and small, that are helping him through his second brush with unemployment. And he has agreed to feature his work on YUD! Check in regularly for more entries.

THINGS GETTING ME THROUGH UNEMPLOYMENT, A HISTORY OF

“Unemployment” is a word that is being shouted from the rooftops these days, but instead of jumping, why not take a picture of the view? It’s so easy to get caught up in it all: rent, loans, food, bills, etc… All things that money needs to be spent on in order to get through the day.

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photo credit: Diego Cupolo
Your Unemployed Daughter has adopted some questionable behavior in this, her 7th week of unemployment. I suppose it stands to reason.

She stays up far too late. At first she was blaming it on that Caleb Carr book she was reading, where the psychologist tracks down the lady who kills her own babies, breaking the “natural bonds” of motherhood that every man believes every woman to have, at least in the late 1800s.

Despite that description, it’s pretty compelling. This lady is pure evil, reminding me, in fact (jaunty leather jacket? manipulative shifts from victim to sex kitten to destroyer?) of Whori Sturgess, aka, That Woman Who Fired Me. I’m about 100 pages from the end. It’s hard to put down.

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photo credit: Whatsername?

Stumbled onto the copy job below this evening and, because YUD is here for you and has time and even a weird penchant for maths and such every now and again (must be an ME thing), she’s just going to point out that in order to make $25 per hour on $3.50 an article, you will need to be copy editing (and fact-checking, in some cases) 7.1428571 articles per hour.

Which, assuming these articles are more than 100 words apiece, or the copy editors desired do not have superhuman speed reading powers, is kinda crazy. We didn’t even do that at my last weekly! And I might rather scoop poo, to tell the truth. (Good arm workout.)

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© Denny Renshaw

The most job-depressing quote of the day comes from Judy Putnam, spokeswoman for the Michigan League for Human Services, in an interview with the Huffington Post. Optimism “hasn’t been a problem in Michigan,” she says. “There were no signs of hope in our numbers.”

Poor Michigan! It’s cold up there! And now the jobless rate is at 14.1%, “a distinction the state has held for 25 of the last 26 months.”

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photo credit: gettyam
Remember when Magazine Editor was like, the dreamiest dream job around? The one that all the rom-com characters in movies (the pretty, smart, successful ones who dressed well and had handsome boyfriends and really tricked-out day planners) were assigned?

Whatever happened to THAT? Did we writerly folks do something to deserve this “media apocalypse”? Did we fly too near the sun, in too many pairs of Christian Louboutin heels? Are editors now paying some karmic debt to society?

Shouldn’t that be Madoff’s problem?

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photo credit: ryan_fung

Hey Jon,

I saw you on TV tonight. Your hair plugs are holding up well – good choice getting them when you did. And props on your use of product. You’re rivaling your wife these days. Er, former wife.

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