Your Middle-Aged, Graying, Chubby, Borderline Infertile Unemployed Daughter

Posted on Monday, August 3rd, 2009 at 9:41 am

A Group of Middle Aged People Looking out over the Beach and Ocean in front of the Hilton Casino
Creative Commons License photo credit: iirraa

YUD did something a bit self-indulgent last night. She’s ashamed to admit it, but … she did it. She googled herself. That is, she googled “Your Unemployed Daughter.” And she found some interesting things out there.

The most personally interesting is this piece in the Post, which YUD was previously unaware of and in which she is described as follows:

Jobless bloggers span all ages and career stages, from recent college grads—like the two 20-something NYC women behind Pink Slips are the New Black—to middle-age veterans like the “formerly high-powered media exec” who writes Your Unemployed Daughter.

Ouch, Sheila! I mean, thanks for including me; I’ll take press where I can get it. But now apparently I’m not just a quote/unquote unemployed media exec, I’m also … middle aged??? A veteran? Lady of the rapidly drying eggs? That’s not cute.

Wikipedia, the Oxford English Dictionary, and the US Census, among others, all give me a little more time. Which I appreciate, given their predictions of what’s ahead for us oldsters:

Middle-aged adults often show visible signs of aging such as loss of skin elasticity and graying of the hair. Physical fitness usually wanes, with a 5–10 kg (10-20 lb) accumulation of body fat, reduction in aerobic performance and a decrease in maximal heart rate. Strength and flexibility also decrease throughout middle age. Female fertility declines significantly after age 45, and an advanced maternal age increases the risk of a child being born with some disorders such as Down syndrome.

But there is good news!

The majority of middle-aged people in industrialized nations can expect to live into old age.

With our graying, thinning hair and stretched-out, sun-damaged skin; pudgy, stiff, feeble, disorder-producing unemployed bodies; and low-to-middling heart rates? Fabu.

And you wonder why YUD drinks.

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6 Responses to “Your Middle-Aged, Graying, Chubby, Borderline Infertile Unemployed Daughter”

  1. Cleage says:

    So, she must have assumed you’re older, to have been “high-powered.” She didn’t realize how much success you’d realized at such a young age. Then again, we’re almost knocking on the door of Middle Age.

    Bottom line: Congrats on the mention in the Post!

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Egosurfing

    And I owe you a phone call.

  2. Thanks C! Please, no knocking at that door. I refuse to answer. I am applying age-defying Lancome Collaser-5X as I type.

  3. [...] someone WHO DOESN’T EVEN KNOW ME called me middle-aged. I need to renew my gym membership, which means, credit card, brace yourself. [...]

  4. bruce778 says:

    Oh my God, middle aged! Shall I arrange a match-making service while there is still time?

  5. [...] even-worse sequel to a very bad middle-agers’ rom-com (Must Love Cats), or a Lifetime drama (33 and Not Even Close to Pregnant), YUD’s life were the plot of a horror [...]

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