I’d Pay for That!
Posted on Tuesday, September 29th, 2009 at 5:17 pm
Ever notice how certain cities, like New York, Boston, and Washington, DC, have more nail salons per block than Starbucks? And they offer cheap, quality services—on certain nights of the week, your mani and pedi might even run you less than your fancy caffeinated bev and pumpkin bread snack. And it will sure as hell last you longer.
On the other side of the coin we have places like my parents’ neck of the woods in Florida, where strip malls feature a higher ratio of hospital equipment stores and check-cashing venues to spas or cofffeshops. It all depends on where you live, I suppose.
For instance, had this unlucky fellow only ventured up to one of our fair cities instead of breaking and entering in Malta, Illinois, he might be gainfully employed at “Nails Times” or “Renew & Relax,” giving leg massage add-ons to appreciative ladies for $10 a pop plus tip.
Student Accused of Rubbing Sleeping Women’s Legs
WHEATON, Ill. (AP) — Authorities said a college student has been charged with breaking into the unlocked apartments of three women and rubbing their legs as they slept. Police said that when the women awoke, the man fled. Bond was set at $100,000 Monday for the 19-year-old man, who was charged with three counts of criminal trespass. Authorities said the man is a student at Kishwaukee Community College in Malta.
Assistant DuPage County State’s Attorney Brooks Locke said three different women at the apartment complex where the suspect lived reported to police that they were awakened by a man dressed in all black rubbing their legs. No other contact was reported.
Lesson one on getting a job: Determine a need, and make people pay for its fulfillment. I know you know that old adage about getting the milk for free. Who’s gonna to buy the damn cow if he’s out giving leg massages?
Oh, and girls? Lock your apartments!
