Your Unemployed Daughter

© Judd Marcello

Today’s dispatch from across the pond comes at a good time. I myself am a little bit down in the dumps about finding a job. Daylight savings time is over, marking the final door-slam on our already closed summer of frivolity, and while I have freelance work, it’s not enough to occupy me. I want more. Challenges! Excitement! Coworkers! I need more. Free Halloween candy in the kitchen! A water bubblah! Money!

And I’m irritated and a bit numb from not hearing back from the one million peoples and places to whom I’ve sent my resume, of feeling like every effort I go to has so little effect, why bother…

Oh, it’s deadening, isn’t it? But we can’t let that happen. Because we are good, we are worthy, we are deserving of jobs. And if those jobs don’t want us, fuck ‘em. It’s onward and upward, my friends.

One step I have not really taken has been going to a recruiter. I know others have done it. Some markets rely on them far more than others. But it’s a step that I may just turn to, next, since the jobs I see on Mediabistro and Craigslist are not doing it for me. ($5 to edit an article? Thanks, but no thanks.)

Let’s listen to what YUP has to say.

It’s time we had that chat. No, YUDites, not that chat. I hope by now you are well-versed in the ins and outs of the birds and bees. The chat I am talking about it the one concerning … recruiters [collective sigh]. Funny, isn’t it, how these two aforementioned topics are related: Sometimes you can get royally fucked by recruiters.

Oooh, that was harsh. Unfair to the entire recruiter community. That being said, there are some whose goal it is to turn you over quickly and put another notch on their bedpost/quota. You know them. They work for the big chop-shop recruiting firms. They shop you around like today’s lunch special hoping they can shoehorn you into a role. They are in it for them, not you.

You meet them in a small, antiseptic, unwelcoming room. They offer you water. They ask you to tell them your story. As you pour your guts out, they are looking right through you, categorically sizing you up. They ask some vanilla questions and say, “I think we may be able to do something for you.”

Yeah, right. Next time you hear from them, check the calendar. I bet you half of my next paycheck (whenever it arrives) it will be toward the end of the month (quota time!).

There are some very good recruiters out there … but you have to seek them out. These recruiters, or career consultants, are a bit harder to find, but worth the effort. They usually work in specialized, vertically aligned recruiting firms. They cover a specific sector. YOUR sector. They have good contacts. They care about placing quality with quality. They care about helping YOU find work.

I usually find three to five recruiters of this ilk. I meet with them and try to give them a very real perception of who I am, what I want, and how I want to go about getting it. This approach is even more important when you are looking in a foreign market.

Here are the Recruiter Rules I use when gathering my posse:

• Use Recommendations: Recommendations are the lifeblood of looking for work, especially with choosing recruiters in a foreign job market. Before I left Australia, I talked with the woman who placed me at my last job. She still remembered me because even after she placed me, I emailed her to say hello every few months. I told her about my move to the UK. She rattled off four high-level contacts with local UK recruiters in my sector, without me even asking.

• Stay Focused: The contacts she gave me were ONLY in my sector. When you want good Italian food, you go to a Italian restaurant, not T.G.I.Friday’s.

• Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is: When you are contemplating buying a big ticket item, you ask friends, you research online, you check reviews on Amazon (at least I do). I have applied this theory to my recruiter-posse gathering approach. I end my initial emails by giving three references. I propose that the recruiter contact these references before responding to my email. Kick the tires before buying the car, then have me in. Of all the recruiters I have tried this with, two have taken me up on it and all have applauded the idea. Instantly, we had an open and honest relationship.

• Be yourself (Really, Be Yourself): With such a high degree of transparency in today’s society (social media anyone?) there is no room for bullshit. Authenticity is currency, especially when you are selling your story. I have been through this enough and I’ve reached a stage/age where I am not pandering or kowtowing anymore. Don’t tell them what they want to hear … tell them who you are and why you are unique from the stack of resumes sitting on their desks. Don’t wear a suit just because you are supposed to. I never do. It’s not me. My attire: high-quality jeans and shoes, tailored dress shirt, and suit coat.

• Give Direction: Tell them how you would like the process to run. This sets direction upfront. After each meeting, I take a look at the jobs posted on their site. I pick the ones I am generally interested in. I send the recruiter an email highlighting each job and give one or two lines of context as to why I am interested.

I do this to give them scope. The process is all about trade-offs. You are trying to find a job that comes closest to ticking all the boxes on your wish list. I always try to give them enough lateral guidance so that they understand my trade-off tolerance. The more I help them, the more they help me. This always … always … improves our partnership.

Do you have any Recruiter Rules that you use?
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YUD would be so proud. I am writing this post from a bar in Oxford Circus called Shakespeare’s Head. I had a recruiter meeting this morning and decided to celebrate it with a pint of one of London’s finest. This reminds me of another one of my Recruiter Rules: Celebrate the successes … and get out of the house to do it. Just because you are unemployed doesn’t mean barstools should be neglected.

And with that, YUD realizes that YUP is right. Perhaps some of her doldrums come from sitting in front of her computer each day until dark, and then finally leaving the smallness of her apartment to go down the block to the gym. Perhaps what YUD needs is camaraderie, the friendship of others, daylight and the open air, and a good pint or six.

Shakespeare himself would agree. I dare say, the man knew something about the job search.

“This above all: to thine own self be true.” —Hamlet

“Though this be madness, yet there is method in ‘t.” —Hamlet

“Having nothing, nothing can he lose.” —King Henry VI, Part III

“The worst is not, so long as we can say, ‘This is the worst.’ ” —King Lear

Snap!

© Judd Marcello