Your Unemployed Daughter

photo credit: John Griffiths

Allow me to apologize for leaving that nacho cheese post up front and center for so long. It’s true, I’ve been giving myself a little break on weekends. I mean, you get a rest day in your workout week, so what about your blogging week? And sometimes I just need to give my brain a little space. It gets tired too, you know.

Speaking of tired, today I spent the day working at a sample sale. This one, to be exact. I sorted clothes, put them in boxes according to size, emptied huge duffels of their contents and arranged those contents in pleasing, purchase-convincing arrangements. And then I did math, too. I calculated people’s bills, and ran their credit cards through the credit-card machine, and … you know what’s weird? It was sort of fun.

Do I have a future in high-end children’s clothing? Probably not. But it’s nice to do something different now and again. It reminds me of that whole “variety is the paprika of life” cliche, which of course is pretty much true, or maybe it’s the cilantro, but anyway … it’s a truth that we who have held jobs for 10 or more years and moved up the professional ladder rather chronologically tend to forget about. Your day can be made of anything! Variety IS spicy! Which is kind of cool.

I suspect this is how Steven Tyler must feel. I mean, let’s say you’re a rock star for years and years and years. You wear the hell out of your spandex tights. You have children with models, and those children become famous, and sometimes you become estranged from them. You throw TVs out of the windows of high-rise hotel rooms. You have an entourage, and groupies, and roadies, and even a few groadies. You wear black nail polish, and do duets with Run-D.M.C. and Christina Milian.

And you wake up one morning with a broken shoulder, a bad foot, and the refrain from “Janie’s Got a Gun” going through your addled brain. Adding insult to injury, Alicia Silverstone has gone all preachy vegan, and your last album, back in 2004, was called “Honkin’ on Bobo,” which is pretty much the worst title I’ve ever heard in my entire life.

Plus, that back-stabbing hair model Joe Perry has gotten on your last nerve. You are so over him, even if it’s primarily because he’s sort of hot, and he totally knows it.

So what do you do? Duhhh, you quit! Donesville. Throw that TV out the window, man.

And the moral of the story is, everybody needs a change now and again, even elderly rockers. If Steven can do it, so can the rest of us. Although I’m not sure how “Brand Tyler” is gonna play in a recession.