Your Unemployed Daughter

photo credit: Andrew Scott

I have to go into the office. I have had this hanging over me since last night, and I still have yet to do it. It’s probably a 10-minute cab ride, 30 by bus, but it’s grey outside and I’m just so productive with my ass in my lovely blue CB2 chair I’m loathe to leave it. And having to do something as mundane as venture to 45th Street to move a few files from server 1 to server 2, well, it doesn’t inspire definitive action. As you can see.

Instead, I am reminded of the nice things about working from home. Such as:

1. You can drink as much coffee as you want and never have to pay anyone.
2. The bathroom never smells of someone else’s digestive habits.
3. Packages are delivered to your door by friendly UPS or Fed Ex professionals. No long waits at the post office, no awkward convos about proofing ransom notes or accepting embarrassing personal items.
4. Take a shower whenever you want! Or, don’t, see if I care. Also…sleeping til 9. Imminently possible, even probable, as my commute is quite literally 15 seconds.
5. Lunch loses its import. It used to be that back in the office days, a bad lunch=dissatisfaction for hours, perhaps even entire days. Now I’m more sanguine about the whole business. There’s always dinner, you know.
6. “Office” temp completely reasonable for wearing tank top and jeans, regardless of season.
7. No one complains about the noise coming from TweetDeck.
8. Someday, maybe, if all goes well, I might just be able to get a dog. Or a Scottish Fold kitten. Those things are damn cute.

Things I don’t like so much:
Listening to the neighborhood bassoonist practice, realizing I haven’t spoken a word or seen a person since Thursday, wondering if my 80-year-old super thinks I’m a “lady of the night,” having to go into the office (rarely) becomes huge ordeal.

Also, sometimes it’s just nice to get out. Sigh. Here goes…