Your Unemployed Daughter

photo credit: Ollie Crafoord

Let’s talk unemployment attire. Or, work-from-home attire, if you prefer.

For YUD, it goes something like this: Wake up in the morning, take off pajamas as a matter of propriety, put on workout pants of some sort (usually black, once in a while gray), a sports bra of some ilk (usually black, once in a while white), a t-shirt or tank top depending on the heat in my apartment (right now it’s actually kind of cold, so I have topped the ensem with a zip-up sweatshirt with a high collar that, while made by Banana Republic in the early 2000s, might pass for something ’70s era if you squint).

And then: socks. Specifically, these awesome gym socks I bought at TJ Maxx the one and only time I ever went to New York’s Union Square branch. They are Puma and came in a pack of four and cost me maybe $5. That’s the bargain of my life, folks.

They are also warm, and prevent me from needing to wear shoes. But, see, I don’t really need to wear shoes anyway, unless I go outside. Which I can decide upon a moment’s notice.

Yesterday, I went outside. I went to the birthday party of my dear friend J, with whom I attended high school back in the deep dark days of my life. We have a shared belief in autonomy, great boots, and working to live rather than lurking to wive.

But, when I looked down at her feet, I saw, to my feigned horror, something very close to this:

That’s right. Full-on running shoes. Not ironic sneakers, not great boots… running shoes, of the sort that you might see on a tourist in Times Square, paired perhaps with too-tight khaki shorts, an employee appreciation day fanny pack, and a Hard Rock tee. Fortunately, J was sporting none of those accoutrements.

By contrast, I was wearing a new pair of black leather riding boots from Opening Ceremony. On sale, okay?

Now, my point is not to disparage J’s footwear, but to say this. One of us now has a horrible blister that prevents her from wearing any shoes at all. And that person is me.

A strange side effect of the work-from-home lifestyle? You suddenly wear shoes so rarely that when you do, they hurt your feet.

Do you, too, suffer from the trials of occasional shoe-wearing in an otherwise shoeless life?

There’s an organization that can help. Barefoot Q#21: What to do when forced to wear shoes?