To Sleep, Perchance to Hallucinate
Posted on Tuesday, December 8th, 2009 at 1:44 pm
photo credit: Robert Banh
You’re hardly even sposed to tell people about your dreams, much less write about them, but I have had such a bizarre collection of REM-thought in the past few days that I can’t help it.
1.) In this one I was the child in a terrorist family. They were all about to commit ritual suicide, but I wasn’t ready to die. So I escaped out of the second-story window of a house that looked much like that of my childhood, and began to roll down hill after hill. Except they weren’t so much hills as broccoli, and I was rolling over the tops of huge broccoli trees. And then I woke up.
YUD’S INTERPRETATION: I need more vegetables in my diet. Also, Mom used to call pieces of broccoli “trees” to make us eat them when we were kids. Childhood f’s you up, man.
2.) In this one, a former boss of mine was in a plane crash because geese kept flying in giant flocks at planes and taking them down. And somewhere in all the shock and upset of that dream I kinda thought, Ooh, I’m flying home for Christmas, I hope some geese don’t hit me. And then I woke up.
YUD’S INTERPRETATION: Print media is dead. Pack more Xanax for flight, and hope Sully is driving.
3.) And then there’s the one where I was in the huge walk-in closet of my apartment (said walk-in closet does not exist in reality) trying on shoes and when I came out I heard a strange sizzling sound. I realized that something was not quite right. When I approached the oven I saw that it was on, partially open, and someone other than me had decided to cook a bunch of chicken fingers, without a pan! This creeped me out, so I grabbed a fork and began to walk around my dark, cavernous apartment to see what I might see. Suddenly I looked up, and right in front of me was the eerily lit face of a strange man. I jabbed my fork at his throat. And then I woke up.
YUD’S INTERPRETATION: Get your grubby hands off my chicken fingers!
Is it any wonder I’m not sleeping so well? I mean, we could blame it all on the nasi goreng I ate the other night, or maybe the glasses of rioja.
Or we could ask whether having a few too many jobs is really good for a person. Because a couple months ago I was sleeping like a baby.
Anyone else out there have weird job or jobless dreams?
Funny you should mention it…
I keep having dreams that I get lost in various hotels. Each time I leave a room, I try to go back in and it’s not the same room I left. I just keep wandering aimlessly around them. In last night’s dream I was looking for a shower.
Or there are the elevator dreams. I have to get into an elevator of an unstable building because it’s the only way out. 2 nights ago, it was a glass elevator that not only goes up and down, but “around” the building. Did I mention I am afraid of heights?
These have nothing to do with my job, or not having a job, but creepy none-the-less.
I bet there’s some dream interpreter who would say you’re searching for something, or that you’ve had to change your path recently, or that you are plagued with an obsession to sing in Miley Cyrus’s backup band. Or something. But those dreams TOTALLY mean something, right?
The worst is when you dream you’re looking for a bathroom and you finally find one and then you wake yourself up peeing in the bed. Not that I’ve ever done that. Ahem.
Wow! The ID takes over!
Ur dad.
[...] I can’t remember the last chicken finger I ate, and since dreaming about them rather disturbingly, I can’t tell you they don’t frighten me a little. But the wine continues to flow, God [...]