Soul v. Money, Round 1
Posted on Wednesday, December 16th, 2009 at 2:17 pm
Rarely is it, since I was laid off in May, that I have to do something so icky, so inauthentic and against my nature that my skin crawls and I have the urgent need to shower vigorously using high-potency Dr. Bronner’s peppermint soap.
YUD’s conundrum is thus: She was offered a high-paying part-time gig with a certain client that does rather yucky, corporate things. The stars were in her eyes a little bit, as the figure quoted included two zeroes per hour. She thought, I can do anything for two zeroes per hour!
But can she? The things that they want her to do do not come easy. Not just because they are hard (they are somewhat hard, actually) but more because they leave a bad taste in the mouth. And where is the truth? The reporting? The good writing? Where is everything I’ve stood for and promoted and cared about in the last months?
If I were Van Gogh, this would not be a problem. I might be earless and syphilitic, but no one would be recruiting me to write PR copy. Is it wrong that I feel a little bit jealous?
It’s hard to know where to draw the line between the things you love and the things you hate and the things you’ll do for money. How sick does something have to make you for you to quit? Is there time in life to be unhappy with your work? How much money can buy happiness?
The thing is, I have plenty of other stuff to do, stuff that I actually care about and want to do a good job at. And that is suffering on account of this. Yet my bank account will suffer otherwise… and I like clothes, and shoes, and paying rent…
If I keep doing this, how much will I hate myself? How much will I hate myself if I quit?
Tell me, friends, have you faced this dilemma?
Few years back in my retail days, I was swayed from the enjoyable employings of Express(beautiful well-toned 18-23 year old girls and all) to start a flagship store of an up and coming new company named Aeropostale. I was more than happy to be starting a new “project” that I could say I built from the ground up, so I left my comfort zone for new beginnings.The offer was too good to refuse.A better title,way better money, and a parking spot near the entrance of the mall.
Heres how it turned out. 60 hour work weeks, 7-16 year old target clientele of mostly girls(I hate girls that age), and worst of all forced to wear the clothing. aeropostale.com check it out.Whats bad is that I could deal with the other things much better than wearing their clothes.It was suggested by my superior that I might wanna try wearing two polos at a time(with both collars popped mind you),the cool new beach board shorts,sandals, and for some extra fun… a hemp necklace or bracelet.I quit in the middle of my shift,walked out the door and straight over to Express. My old position hadnt been filled yet and so I was taken back into their loving arms. It was a long and rough 5 weeks I will never forget.A loss of $10,000 for peace of mind. Stay true to yourself I say!
hemp necklace! D.H., thank goodness you escaped. you are right and i know you are right about truth to self…i think that’s why i feel so sick about this whole thing.
Actually….sort of. I took a job once because they took my ridiculous salary offer – they didn’t want to be “pound-wise and penny-foolish”. I should have known there would be a catch!! I worked for those “crooks” for 4 years and was stuck because I made too much money. Finally, I was able to find something for a little less – but a better position thinking I would enjoy it more. Wrong! I should have known… that guy was even a bigger jerk! What did these guys do that was so rotten? Well, I can’t divulge exactly – but let’s just say I really struggled with myself after discovering the lack of morals and constant “rule bending” they practiced. It’s called ‘dirty money’ and I’d rather wash dishes and make my 9 bucks an hour than be in that position again.
thanks, you guys are making me feel better. there always is a catch, isn’t there? i think i’m going to give myself til after xmas on this, esp as the work is going to hit a lull next week. then in 2010, i will either give them the boot or figure out how to make it okay with myself. (i expect the former.) although, frankly, they just might give me the boot instead.
and maybe that would be just fine.
I was willing to wear a polo with a popped collar EVERY NOW AND THEN just to show I’m a good sport,but 2 polos popped… that’s just crossing the line. And as far as hemp jewelry goes…that just fuckn ridiculous! That was in fact the moment when I decided to quit.Now that I think about it my whole attitude towards this matter seems a bit effeminate.Hemp necklace,OH NO!!
a hemp necklace is offensive in all ways and the only effeminate thing would be wearing instead of smoking it.
Tricky spot to be in. Here is my tale of woe perhaps it will help. I worked for the last 7 years in the nonprofit sector, event got a Master’s Degree in how to manage them. I always justified the long hours, stress and lack of pay and perks as moral trade off for the private sector, because what I was doing was related to the mission.
But my last nonprofit gig with a wonderful mission and a warm and fuzzy realm of children’s education had the most horrific and toxic working conditions. I worked there for three long years. This year I got laid off and found work for the first time in a technology start up after being unemployed for four months. I am happy and now like going to work.
The point is while I was interviewing for the last nonprofit job there were red flags that I ignored because I didn’t listen to deep down voice that said run. So YUD, if your bank account can take the stress (only you can answer that and you don’t need to justify your decision to anyone) listen to that inner voice.
Thanks Lila—you are right, of course. It’s good to know that we all struggle with this in some way or another. (And hopefully the good wins out!)
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