Hey Jon,
I saw you on TV tonight. Your hair plugs are holding up well – good choice getting them when you did. And props on your use of product. You’re rivaling your wife these days. Er, former wife.
photo credit: Joe Shlabotnik
Then I have all the money in the world!!! Drinks for the bar!!!
Heyyyy…wait a minute. That’s not right.
photo credit: Liz Wong
Northeast, we’ve had a hard time these past few days/weeks/month, haven’t we? (Pardon me, I missed out on the first part as I was busy jetting from Florida to NY to Jamaica and back to NY. Unemployment!) But I hear from those around that it’s been pretty tough. Bleak. Damp. Constant, bizarre downpours. A monsoon season, if you will.
When I got laid off, everyone said, “Oh, you’re so lucky to get laid off in the summer. I’m sooooo jealous!” Driven by their words, I admit I perhaps naively flashed forward to September, when my tan would be savage, my psyche relaxed, and the perfect job suddenly available after my 3 well-deserved months of fun in the sun.
But this is not going to turn into a weather rant, oh no. For as much as people are bored/sick/depressed about the weather, claiming we now “live in Seattle” and running out to stock up on sun lamps and vitamin D, as one wise blogger said, “The only thing worse than constant rain is people constantly complaining about constant rain. Whining won’t bring the sun out, I promise.”
Happy as a clammer
I ran into this rather disturbing post on Pink Slips are the New Black yesterday. Apparently, there are some employed misanthropes out there who believe that along with being out of work, we jobless should also be loveless, depressed, and stop consuming all sustenance. If we were all dead, we’d stop being such a burden to society, is that what you think, Mr. I Have a Job as well as Strict Criteria for My Perfect Partner?
Hey, regardless of our career ambitions and who’s got health insurance, we all deserve to love, or at least get our freak on, okay? Would you begrudge me, simply because I’ve been handed the short end of the job stick, a pleasant evening of companionship (perhaps playing Mad Libs, or watching a nice documentary on birds) with a person of the opposite gender?
Cornichons and marinara: a dieter's friend
Your Unemployed Daughter has been besieged with requests for a post on eating for the unemployed – more specifically, whether your layoff will cause you to pork it up or go Giselle – and as someone who got a 100-percent conscientiousness rating (Big mistake, former employer. Huge) on her Facebook personality analysis, she is eager to please.
There are varied opinions on the topic. Some say that you can’t afford food while unemployed, so you’ll eat less; others claim you’ll have more time to create healthy, home-cooked, economical meals. One unconventional sort recommended packing it in when you make your unemployment pilgrimage to the parents and then starving it off when you return (actually, my dad suggested that. I did not follow instructions.).
