Your Unemployed Daughter

photo credit: H is for Home

This morning I thought it was Tuesday until about 10 am, when I looked at myself in the mirror after putting on a cardigan I’d worn on Monday and said to myself, “Wait a minute!” Yep, it’s halfway through the week, on the verge of WINTER HAVOC (downed power lines, heavy snow, high winds—o’ my!), and I for one am rather happy it’s hump day. And aside from a bit too much chicken in my bibimbap, rather happy in general.

I spoke to my mom on the phone yesterday (she’s been moved out of ICU and into a regular room at the hospital), and she sounded very much herself, except for a still-raspy voice due to her breathing tube being in all last week. Which is great, nay, fantastic news. Thanks again to everyone who put good vibes in the air or said a prayer or did whatever things you do to try to make things right in the world.

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photo credit: ShawnHasIssues

Hey, hey, so, news y’all! Remember how the peeps at Walmart got all shithouse-rat-CRAZY last year waiting in line to storm the barracks (I mean, store) when it opened at 5 am on the day after Thanksgiving? And some poor employee got stomped to death in our boisterous Middle American friends’ pursuit of a bargain-priced flat-screen?

Well, worry ye not. Walmart’s bigwigs have put their heads together this time and come up with a fail-proof plan. See, they know a lot of people are unemployed, or tightening belts, or cheaper than they ever were, cheap bastards. Thus:

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photo credit: malec slomas

Yes. It’s true. I love wine. And loving wine means I drink it, in sometimes largish quantities. I know, I know, it’s not good for my liver, the sugar count is ruining my metabolism, it doesn’t help with the productivity the next day—I’ve heard it all before. But that just doesn’t seem to stop me when I get started. And once I get going … well, no one else is going to stop me either.

Technically speaking, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with drinking a lot of wine. I choose well; no crappy wood-oaked California Chardonnays for me! I don’t hurt anyone (other than self) and mostly I am a happy drunk. I am crazy, but I am crazy fun. The problem comes in, I suppose, when I don’t eat beforehand, or don’t eat nearly enough.

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photo credit: iirraa

YUD did something a bit self-indulgent last night. She’s ashamed to admit it, but … she did it. She googled herself. That is, she googled “Your Unemployed Daughter.” And she found some interesting things out there.

The most personally interesting is this piece in the Post, which YUD was previously unaware of and in which she is described as follows:

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photo credit: Clover_1

Hey guys,

YUD’s friends over at the The 405 Club (a great site for unemployment resources, commiseration, and gathering, especially for us New Yorkers—oh, and it’s free!) took her to (fake) brunch today. Thank goodness it wasn’t real because she just got up, and she’s pretty sure she’s still wearing the mascara from last night, all over her face.

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Poor high-fructose corn syrup!

I feel bad for you. You and I have a lot in common.

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