31
Dec
Posted in Five Stages | 2 Comments »
photo credit: bsteve76
My mom has always said that on the first day of a new year you should do all of the things you hope to do throughout the year. I mean, not in a crazy-high expectations sort of way, like finishing your entire novel in one day, but if you hope to write a book during the year, at least spend time on that first day writing a bit, and ditto with all of the other aspirations you have: get some exercise, love yourself more, cook a nice meal, whatever.
But if the first day of the new year is dedicated to those sorts of positive-future-bringing activities, what of the last day of the old year? I would guess, maybe, that it’s for doing all the bad shit we still want to do in 2009. Getting it out of our systems, if you will.
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Tags: 2000, 2009, 2010, bad shit, basil plant, bonus for super, brand new decade, christmas, exercise program, first day of new year, mad men, mom says, new jeans, new year's eve, over and out, self-loathing, unspoiled milk, writing a novel, y2k
10
Nov
Posted in Public Relations | No Comments »
photo credit: ShawnHasIssues
Hey, hey, so, news y’all! Remember how the peeps at Walmart got all shithouse-rat-CRAZY last year waiting in line to storm the barracks (I mean, store) when it opened at 5 am on the day after Thanksgiving? And some poor employee got stomped to death in our boisterous Middle American friends’ pursuit of a bargain-priced flat-screen?
Well, worry ye not. Walmart’s bigwigs have put their heads together this time and come up with a fail-proof plan. See, they know a lot of people are unemployed, or tightening belts, or cheaper than they ever were, cheap bastards. Thus:
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Tags: arkansas, attention walmart shoppers, bargain priced flat screen, belt-tightening, bentonville, black friday, christmas, crazy holiday shoppers, daphne moore, discount, frugal shoppers, kiss mr. potato head, recession shopping frenzy, thanksgiving, unemployed shoppers, walmart
1
Nov
Posted in Weekenders | No Comments »
photo credit: lepiaf.geo
Oooh, November. It seems like I hardly even got to know you, October. You were a real blur, thanks to a wedding, several birthdays, 2.5 freelance projects, Halloween, and, of course, too too too much wine.
I woke up this morning thinking, hmm, maybe I should try to go the month of November without drinking (alcohol, that is). Why did I think this? It may have something to do with that Deal or No Deal thermos I kept refilling with Barefoot Sauvignon Blanc, or attempting to rip the head off of one of the Gosselin children (a costume!), or the fact that my Taxi and Limousine-commissioned car service driver, to whom I thought it was wise to spill my guts, was totally putting the moves on. (He was quite sweet, btw.) Or maybe it’s just the usual morning after guilt.
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Tags: alcoholic, birthday, blur, christmas, deal or no deal, family holidays, freelance work, going without drinking, halloween, high hopes, november, october, sobriety, taxi and limousine commissioner, thanksgiving, wedding
