Your Unemployed Daughter

photo credit: joshua aaron

Happy Columbus Day!

True, it’s one of our more dubious American holidays, placed so closely with Canadian Thanksgiving as to seem a second thought (not that Canadian Thanksgiving is a second thought, at least not to Canadians). Today, many hardworking American folks aren’t even awarded the day off for Columbus’s troubles.

Read the rest of this entry »

photo credit: Jeremy Brooks

Here’s an interesting piece, on Gawker today, about the fate of those print journalism types who haven’t been laid off. And while I don’t think it’s as dire as all that—things change, and people need (after their fair share of wallowing boozily, semi-conscious in private miseries) to hop on board and adapt or just go ahead and retire—it’s telling.

Who has it better? Maybe it’s actually us unemployeds.

Read the rest of this entry »

It’s come to YUD’s attention over the past weeks and months that, just like not everybody is employed, not everybody is unemployed. And maybe there are a few things we can learn from each other.

Enter YUD’s new Q&A series, focusing on the—gasp!—”employed.” I think you’ll find that these interestingly jobbed folks have some inspiring (or at least intriguing) things to say.

Meet our first victim—ahem—participant, Dorian Stone, who tends bar to make money for his independent films.

Hey Dorian, what do you do?
I’m a bartender/”mixologist” at Barmarché, where I make classic and specialty cocktails with all fresh ingredients. I’m also a filmmaker.

How long have you been doing this, and why?
I’ve been a bartender for 4 years. It allows me the flexibility to pursue filmmaking.

What’s the best thing about your job?
Getting to know the customers, making sure they have a great time.

The worst?
When it gets packed and the specialty cocktail orders pile up, it can feel like a factory.

What do you wear while working?
T-shirt, jeans, clean pair of sneakers. It used to be shirt and tie but now we’re doing what might be termed “casual chic.”

If you could change one thing about your job, what would it be?
A longer bar and more stools!

Do you get paid: a) Enough b) Too much c) Too little d) Fill in your own response:_______________
Enough.

As a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?
Psychotherapist, novelist, deep sea adventurer

What’s your dream job now?
Independent feature film director, screenwriter

How long until you retire? What will you do then?
As a film director I don’t ever intend to retire.

What’s the one thing about your job that you wish others knew?
Well, I think it wouldn’t hurt if everyone had worked in the service industry at least once—the way military service is required in some countries. Our country being the bastion of capitalism it proclaims to be, why not require everyone to work in a customer service job, early in their lives? It can be quite an eye-opening experience…. There’d be less douchebags, I can tell you that.

Have you noticed changes in your business related to the recession? Think we’re out of the woods yet?
There’s been a sharp drop in business this year as compared to last. It dipped pretty precipitously from late spring to summer and seems to be getting a little better now. I don’t think we’re out of the woods. I think the landscape has changed.

Have you seen changes in people’s drinking habits in the last year? How about how they’re tipping?
Overall I’d say yes. My bar tabs have been smaller. I do feel that people are drinking less at my bar. They’re more inclined to take their time with their cocktails/drinks and less likely to order multiple rounds. However, I’ve been told by the servers that people are ordering more booze and less food at the tables. They’re tipping about the same, although there are less of those extraordinary tips in which customers drop a few hundred because they loved your service.

How many times in the last 6 months has someone come into your bar and told you they just lost their job? Do you give them a free drink?
About five people. No, I won’t give them a free drink just because they lost their job. (Heck, if it was a dive bar I might.) If they’re regulars and have several drinks, then I usually do a buyback.

Restaurants are closing left and right. Are you at all concerned about job security?
Sure. It’s a very tough business. Here one day gone the next. My current employer appears to be doing okay though.

Does recession/unemployment/the economy factor into your film-making work?
Yes and no. I am directly affected in so far as I have less money from the bartending to put towards my own films. I’d say the downturn has shrunken the pool of potential investors (producers). It just makes the process of funding a film more challenging, which I welcome—it forces you to be more creative.

Barmarché is located in Soho, New York. YUD has been known to enjoy the Falanghina. If you’re in the area, stop by and say hi to Dorian!

photo credit: hawaii

A friend of mine recently brought this to my attention, and I think it may be the perfect solution for what to do when all the magazine jobs are gone:

Want a job you can really relish? Do you have an appetite for adventure, a friendly personality, and boundless enthusiasm? Do you want to become a goodwill ambassador for Oscar Mayer, helping to organize promotions and even pitch TV, radio, and print media? If the answer is “Yes”, you could qualify to be an official Oscar Mayer Hotdogger. Read on for all the juicy details.

Read the rest of this entry »

photo credit: Castaway in Wales
One among us has experienced that which we all fear – the dreaded UNEMPLOYMENT ORIENTATION. Read on for a glimmer of hope in these trying times. Come now. You have “nowhere to be in a hurry.”

I woke up bright and early (8:30 am) and headed on down to the Brooklyn “government center,” as I call it (it contains the IRS, Social Security, and Unemployment offices), expecting a simple affair.

From what I’d heard, your basic unemployment orientation consists of sitting around with a group of fellow unemployees listening to a government worker talk about how to apply for jobs. You present your résumé, and that’s that.

Read the rest of this entry »

Now here’s a job that I think may interest some of you! (Whori, you were always good at torture, right? And devouring?)

TK Co. is looking for an experienced fashion writer to join our team as Editor of Coutorture. If you wait impatiently for Fashion Week to arrive, devour the runway images as soon as they are available, know what all the trends will be before they hit stores, and have relevant fashion writing experience, then you have the passion and skills we’re looking for.

PS. You guys might consider also hiring a Copy Dominatrix.

photo credit: bobster855

Thank you, friends, for continuing to recommend job opportunities and career paths to me in these trying times. I appreciate your concern. Just knowing that you’re thinking of me, well, it means a lot.

However, and for the last time, I do not want to be a stripper. I’m too old. I have what can only be called “cellulite.” It would be embarrassing. Plus, have you seen me dance? Point me to the audience that would appreciate the Faux Running Man, the Flugel Maneuver, or the Michael Flatley Goes to Camp, and perhaps I will reconsider.

Read the rest of this entry »

What’s the most jobless state? (Aside from you in your pjs at 11:33 am?)

Amazingly, New York doesn’t even make the top 10 list, even though when I got home from dinner on Sunday night the streets were packed with roving twenty-and thirty-somethings who seemed, if not unemployed, positively apathetic about Monday. Perhaps that’s just a reflection of job unhappiness? The old Drink-Til-You-Pass-Out maneuver to make your Sunday less painful? Or maybe Monday was a holiday. How should I know? I’m unemployed.

Read the rest of this entry »