Your Unemployed Daughter

photo credit: ReeseCLloyd

You know it’s the day after your birthday when you wake up and reach for the glass of water upon your bedside table and swig its remains hastily to rid the fuzz from however-many-Gruners from your debauched tongue but instead find your mouth infused with a fiery liquid that clears your sinuses, singes your nosehairs, and might explain why you were a little bit drunk on the subway this morning.

The morning-after-birthday Scotch. Welcome to 34. ‘Sa gonna be a good year, ya wee bairns.

photo credit: whatmeworry101

Boozing (particularly wine drinking) has to be one of the best things in the world that humanity can do for itself. Pour me a delicious Gruner or seven the evening after a stressful day and I will fall into your arms and heave a great sigh of contentment. Assuming you have arms.

That’s why something like this disturbs me to my very core.

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photo credit: sean dreilinger

This week has been a red-letter week of sorts, at least in my book. Allow me to tell you why.

1. I bought a new shower curtain. Finally. And it’s pretty darn cute. Not to mention, my old one was hella moldy. Here’s a pic.

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photo credit: malec slomas

Yes. It’s true. I love wine. And loving wine means I drink it, in sometimes largish quantities. I know, I know, it’s not good for my liver, the sugar count is ruining my metabolism, it doesn’t help with the productivity the next day—I’ve heard it all before. But that just doesn’t seem to stop me when I get started. And once I get going … well, no one else is going to stop me either.

Technically speaking, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with drinking a lot of wine. I choose well; no crappy wood-oaked California Chardonnays for me! I don’t hurt anyone (other than self) and mostly I am a happy drunk. I am crazy, but I am crazy fun. The problem comes in, I suppose, when I don’t eat beforehand, or don’t eat nearly enough.

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photo credit: Curious Expeditions

We wake and count the empty bottles. There are 6, plus a box of wine that is near empty and said to contain as many as 4-plus, originally. Oof. Never let it be said that we can’t hold our liquor. We hold it and we drink it, too.

It took us a couple hours to get here yesterday from Boston, and the rains were incessant the whole way. When we arrived at the house (an adorable cottage right on the water) we found the doors locked and no sight of a key (except for a random, ancient one that my dad discovered in the garden), even though instructions had indicated we would find the doors open and the key on the table.

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photo credit: My Standard Break From Life

Oh, fall! Today I think you’re cute. A little windy, a little chill in the air…so life-affirming!

What a difference a day makes. (Also helpful: “boxing it out” with one’s trainer, a good Gruner and a lobster roll, advice from friends, and watching Top Chef—where that guy Kevin, who reminds me of boys I went to high school with and I may have a bizarre crush on despite him totally looking like, as this site points out, Yukon Cornelius, said, upon winning the Quickfire Challenge, “I was a little intimidated by that fact that some of my competitor’s food is prettier than mine and is more sophisticated, but I realized that what I do has just as much validity as what they do.”)

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YUD has long been a fan of Discovery Wines (conveniently located in her hood, carrier of her most favoritist summer Gruner) and, of course, emporiums of drinking deliciousness such as USQ and Astor Place when she’s venturing further afield. But imagine her surprise when she discovered this little gem en route to a dinner party somewhere west of Times Square!

Yes, the outside was no-nonsense, and featured one of YUD’s pet peeves: words spelled wrong on the billboard.

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