There’s a new job in town. Well, maybe not “town” exactly … at the Denali National Park and Preserve in Alaska. And it’s not just any job, it’s a government job, and you know what that means. (Hey, hey, lunch hour and fancy toilet seats!)
The Gig: Kennels Manager. “In addition to running Denali’s 31-animal dog kennel,” this “includes mushing into one of America’s great swaths of wilderness.”
photo credit: where are the joneses
If this week is any indication, things must be getting better, economically speaking and all. Here’s why:
1) I will have been employed by external sources, working outside of the confines of my glorious and overly decorated (according to some) apartment this entire week. Whoot. This hasn’t happened since early May, 2009. And boy, are my arms tired.
I thought you all would be interested to know that somewhere in Tulsa, OK, there lives a Skunk Whisperer. His name is Ned Bruha, which to me seems the perfect name for someone who soothes the skunky psyche.
(Also, I imagine that when he successfully wins over his skunk, he rubs his gloved hands together—no one wants to get sprayed—and laughs maniacally, “Bruhahahahahahaaaa.”)
photo credit: SabrinaDan Photo
I’ve hit an all new high, or low, depending on how you view it. I actually shaved someone’s face last night, and NOT FOR MONEY. Oy vey. Pardon my Yiddish, but …
It’s the kind of thing every girl must grow up to do, yes?
It’s come to YUD’s attention over the past weeks and months that, just like not everybody is employed, not everybody is unemployed. And maybe there are a few things we can learn from each other.
Enter YUD’s new Q&A series, focusing on the—gasp!—”employed.” I think you’ll find that these interestingly jobbed folks have some inspiring (or at least intriguing) things to say.
Meet our first victim—ahem—participant, Dorian Stone, who tends bar to make money for his independent films.
© Cristiano Benedetti
© James Oo
A friend of mine recently brought this to my attention, and I think it may be the perfect solution for what to do when all the magazine jobs are gone:
Want a job you can really relish? Do you have an appetite for adventure, a friendly personality, and boundless enthusiasm? Do you want to become a goodwill ambassador for Oscar Mayer, helping to organize promotions and even pitch TV, radio, and print media? If the answer is “Yes”, you could qualify to be an official Oscar Mayer Hotdogger. Read on for all the juicy details.
photo credit: Castaway in Wales
One among us has experienced that which we all fear – the dreaded UNEMPLOYMENT ORIENTATION. Read on for a glimmer of hope in these trying times. Come now. You have “nowhere to be in a hurry.”
I woke up bright and early (8:30 am) and headed on down to the Brooklyn “government center,” as I call it (it contains the IRS, Social Security, and Unemployment offices), expecting a simple affair.
From what I’d heard, your basic unemployment orientation consists of sitting around with a group of fellow unemployees listening to a government worker talk about how to apply for jobs. You present your résumé, and that’s that.
Now here’s a job that I think may interest some of you! (Whori, you were always good at torture, right? And devouring?)
TK Co. is looking for an experienced fashion writer to join our team as Editor of Coutorture. If you wait impatiently for Fashion Week to arrive, devour the runway images as soon as they are available, know what all the trends will be before they hit stores, and have relevant fashion writing experience, then you have the passion and skills we’re looking for.
PS. You guys might consider also hiring a Copy Dominatrix.
photo credit: Whatsername?
Stumbled onto the copy job below this evening and, because YUD is here for you and has time and even a weird penchant for maths and such every now and again (must be an ME thing), she’s just going to point out that in order to make $25 per hour on $3.50 an article, you will need to be copy editing (and fact-checking, in some cases) 7.1428571 articles per hour.
Which, assuming these articles are more than 100 words apiece, or the copy editors desired do not have superhuman speed reading powers, is kinda crazy. We didn’t even do that at my last weekly! And I might rather scoop poo, to tell the truth. (Good arm workout.)
I hear that it’s Father’s Day. As it is, I’m having trouble keeping track of whether it’s Friday or Sunday – every day looks the same when you don’t leave your apartment – so this one kind of crept up on me. That doesn’t mean I’m not grateful.
I totally would have bought you a present, but, well, I’m unemployed. And cards are so bad for the environment. That’s why I snagged this photo of one that someone else sent their dad. It’s like recycling! (You like steak, right?)
